An interesting question was asked before a group of black professionals in Tokyo, a few weeks ago. The question-- "Why do Foreign Women Come to Japan?" I found the question to be surprising and fascinating (not being sarcastic) in so many ways...
The Story...
Every month, a group of black professionals working and residing in Tokyo have a networking event/dinner. We discuss, laugh, share experiences and all of that stuff. Good times. I've attended for the last two months and have enjoyed myself. I have especially enjoyed the conversation.
On this particular Friday, a group of about 15 or so met in Shibuya at TGIF. I believe the conversation began with a comment about the abundance of Japanese women hiding from the sun using black parasols. One black male commented that he felt offended and that he felt these women were truly saying is that they didn't want to be brown like him. I didn't get engage myself in this conversation much, because to be honest, I really don't care about black parasols or the women who use them as an accessory.
Anyway, the conversation developed throughout the evening and the most interesting question was asked, "Why do foreign women even COME to Japan in the first place?" [Activate Sista in Tokyo conversation engagement] I replied, "What do you mean?" The question asker commented, "Well, I just think foreign women have it bad here. So why even come?"
Hmmmm... Interesting question right?
First-- I would simply like to point out that I personally don't feel that I 'have it bad' here. I enjoy my life here in Tokyo. So, I found this question to be funny, surprising, and really insightful. You see, after speaking with him, I learned that he felt pity for foreign women in Japan. And, this sentiment was similarly echoed among other men in the group. One man even commented, "SiT, if I saw you on the train, I would want to come and sit beside you and ask you if you were being treated okay, how are you handling things here, etc." I was in shock! "Really!?," I asked. Wow!! That's pretty interesting huh?
A few weeks ago, one of the Sista in Tokyo commenters posed a question to me, "What are your dating options like in Tokyo?" I always find these questions to be most interesting because I receive them from both men and women. Similarly, I also find questions about my boyfriend's nationality to be interesting. Second to the "Where do you get your hair done" question, the racial background and nationality of my boyfriend is the second most popular question. People just want to know... it's cute :).
Sooooo back to the story... Upon further discussion, it was discovered that most of the men felt that foreign women in Japan didn't have many dating options because they probably weren't found attractive by Japanese men, because Japanese men are not as forward as foreign men, and most of the foreign men wanted to date only Japanese women. In addition, they felt that because Japan was more sexist than our home countries that we must always be treated poorly and unfairly.
Interesting perceptions right? So, the overwhelming reply to the title question from the women present was, "Why not come to Japan?" It was pretty much a shared sentiment among most of the women present that we do not base life/travel/or career choices because of perceived opposition we may come across or how much 'booty' we'll have access to once we arrive.
Anyway, the conversation moved on-- and we had more beers, laughs, and food. Good times-- but what an interesting question right?
What do you think?
Why come to Japan? To learn, to be outside of your own comfort zone, to experience. Those are the reasons why I want to go to Japan other than the concerts that I plan to attend and places I plan to visit. Why shouldn't foreign women go to Japan? Women face discrimination from all parts of the world and not everyone in Japan aren't as simple minded as they (people or men who brought this convo. up) make it seem. Why should foreign men travel to Japan? To fill their fetishes with Japanese women although some Japanese women would most likely prefer a Japanese man. Also if a Japanese man did like a foreign woman then he most likely wouldn't go up to her because he probably is shy to talk with her or doesn't realize that she can speak Japanese or some at least. Anyways why come to Japan? Because I want to basically I've wanted to see Japan for itself ever since 8th grade when I started to watch an anime called Inuyasha. I want to experience Japan for itself, learn, and make as many friends as I can. Just because they may see a foreign woman they shouldn't assume that she is in some horrible predicament, they should stop their biases and see the world through the other persons paradigm and stop assuming the worst..that's all lol ^_^ Jaa nee
Posted by: Briana | June 14, 2007 at 01:15 PM
Why come to Japan? Well why not? Like the last poster said anyone can face discrimination from anywhere, so why should I not go somewhere just because of it. I face it in my own country (USA). It's good for people to go and explore different cultures it opens your mind, which is something I think Americans need in general. Plus I have a friend living in Tokyo who has been waiting for me to come since 2003. I have this feeling she'll hurt me if I don't show up. I love her but I'm a little scared when she's upset ^_^. (she was a Japanese exchange student I met in high school)
Posted by: Birdee | June 14, 2007 at 08:53 PM
When they say foreign women, do they mean ALL foreign women or a specific subset? I've heard that that the stereotypical experience of foreign women in Japan is as broad in range as the range of foreign women to be found in Japan.
I don't see why Japan could be particularly worse for a foreign woman than >insert random relatively (as opposed to extremely) sexist society<. While I can't speak for men, as a woman I think, dare I say know, that there are several other things that motivate women to travel above and beyond the prospect of romance/lack there of. I wonder whether the question should be "why do foreign women come to japan?" or "why do women travel?"
I think it would be interesting to take a survey of the age group of women who are more preoccupied with the availability of romantic interests when coming to Japan. I think it would also be interesting to discover how many of these women (it feels strange calling them women, girls more like...and I'm not being snooty...I'm only 20) actually make it to Japan, and, finally, the majority of the sort of foreign (for some reason I want to type black when ever I should type foreign) women that do make it to Japan. I imagine they would be academic and/or career motivated. I'm headed for Tokyo in September and those are two of my top reasons. But then again, this is where we really need to define what we mean by foreign women. I feel almost 100% certain that a black woman from somewhere in West Africa (looking for a stretch) would have very, very different reasons for relocating to Japan than say a woman from Malaysia or Korea. And a very different experience.
I'd like to comment on the implications of the foreign men pitying foreign women in the way related in SiT's post, but I feel like that would warrant a blog post all it's own.
A last thing. SiT, what is your opinion in the matter? You presented the discussion but not your 2 cents? Or will there be a follow up post?
Posted by: Soton | June 16, 2007 at 10:02 AM
I understand the brother's comments about foreign women. I have talked to many in several years in and out of Asian life and in particular Japan. They DO have it a little less easy than at home. Specifically western American,Canadian, British...etc. If you come to japan you will see for yourself. YES you can date. Yes it is more difficult. Yes the men are smaller and more shy on average. Yes there are exceptions to every rule. Yes, most women I meet are not interested in staying past their one year contracts with some of it admittedly due to their perceptions of a sexist society and personal dating lives as far as options. These things are real no matter how defensive some women may get. that is because of people telling them they shouldn't do something. There are women like Swoops who can adjust. There are many though who don't realize that even things like aggression and being chubby work against you here. It doesn't mean you won't get a date from a non-westerner, it just means what I said. It works against you much more than back home. Women sit around bitching about it a lot. I listen, and I don't mean to be offensive,just saying the truth. Of course most all of them are white. That is just the norm here for westerners. I haven't seen a non military black woman outside of the roppongi club zone in weeks. Well there was an African woman at my train station..but you get the drift. If I saw a table of blacks at TGIF I would have been shocked. Besides, in Asia being light skinned I walk past people, even black people when they are around, and don't get noticed as black. because in Asia that is equated with dark skin. In several countries i have been told I am not black because I am light. My ex-coworker the same. I say these things to point out how DIFFERENT it is in Asia. I have to adjust too. i have to defend my people and other "minorities" at times. I would love to befriend a sister who needed a shoulder but I hear they are in Tokyo and I just don't see them. When I do they come off as very unapproachable as if you just think the ass is easy because they are desperate. I guess its a defense mechanism. But unless you are here, you wouldn't know what I am speaking of. About parasols...that is smart. The sun is not good for anyones skin. Wrinkled white girls in their 20's can attest to that. It has nothin to do with black people. Hell i am looking for a male one myself. ha!
Posted by: ghoul | June 17, 2007 at 02:53 PM
aj you are full of it.
Posted by: ghoul | June 17, 2007 at 09:18 PM
That's really interesting. I want to go to Japan because it seems like a real challenge. What initially got me interested was my love for Japanese manga and anime. Now the hip-hop culture there is getting me more curious. I hear that some Japanese men are attracted to black women, but I'm not sure if that could be because of the influence of black hip-hop.
I wouldn't be offended about the parasal thing, maybe they are doing it for protection from the sun, or maybe they like their skin color the way it is. What would he say to Japanese women who wanted to get darker? That they were trying to be something they're not?
I think I asked about the boyfriend once, along with some other people. Glad you're not irritated by it and think it's cute. You should set up a FAQ or something...^-^
Posted by: Nini | June 18, 2007 at 09:48 AM
Let's not tie up someone's blog with unproductive nonsense. I am sorry to contribute to that but how can you come here and say Japanese hate black people? so many of us live here and know otherwise. Comments have been deleted so it's inconsistent but AJ if you come and live around us you will see otherwise from many. I am sure the Blogger herself can attest to that. Please don't mislead people. Give people a chance to see life for themselves.
Posted by: ghoul | June 18, 2007 at 04:17 PM
Ghoul,
Please pay that fool no mind. He's a well-known shit-stirrer and resident troll. He was banned from Az's site not too long ago for this exact same thing. Who know how many other sites banned him as well.
Posted by: Lisa | June 23, 2007 at 12:49 AM
Sorry to spam your comment section, SiT
ViolentAJ: I could have sworn going to your website, and you say you love Japanese girls, yet they hate you...You also have several ideas involving you as a roman soldier going to Japan, and falling in love. Why would you create something like that when the Japanese supposedly hate black people?
Posted by: Nini | June 24, 2007 at 03:06 AM
wow..that's interesting. Well, the parasol comment that wouldn't really bother me 'cause you see that kinda often in NYC, with people of every race (yes, blacks included) and if a person doesn't want to get darker, then that's their business, why should you care?
And speaking about that, what about the ganguro (I think that's the term?) girls in Japan? I wonder what they would say about them?
Anyways, about the whole dating thing...since I've never been to Japan, I can't really say anything about it but I can talk about the whole going to Japan thing. I want to go to Japan because I want to experience a different country and culture other than my own and I feel like it would be a great learning experience for me...and there is the whole anime and manga thing as well. lolz. Plus I am learning Japanese and I think if I go to the country it can help me to become more fluent.
Also, I don't understand the whole "all Japanese people are racist" thing. Quite frankly, there are going to be racist people in every culture, but you can't generalize and say that it's everyone.
Posted by: Keisha | June 24, 2007 at 05:06 AM
Wow, there was a lot ignorant thoughts here!
sad!
Posted by: sifu | June 25, 2007 at 08:55 AM
You mean disgusting thoughts, sifu. Very disgusting, especially from someone with very limited knowledge of Japan.
Bull, AJ. Az banned you because you kept hijacking a good amount of posts with your usual "Japan hates blacks, I love Japanese girls but they don't love me" babble.
Again, people, he is a resident troll. Want further proof? Visit www.gainjinsmash.net and skim through some of the editorials.
Posted by: Lisa | June 26, 2007 at 02:02 AM
Sorry, that's www.gaijinsmash.net
To SiT, I'm really sorry my own hijacking. I just wanted to inform people about this rather sad individual who bounces from one homepage to another spewing nonsense.
Posted by: Lisa | June 26, 2007 at 02:06 AM
I read this post way after you had written it. And I have been thinking about all the comments people have made. I think that it is weird how people have this perception that life is not so good for black women in Japan. I think that the reason some black women are having a hard time here is because they have a pessimistic attitude towards everything Japanese. Basically if you only see Japan as a place to make money and you rarely interact with the culture or people - I am pretty sure that you will be miserable. And I think just like everywhere else - beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some Japanese men find black women attractive and some don't.
And as for the black men who are worried about how sisters are faring in Japan - I wish I could meet one of them. In my experience I am more visible to Japanese people than to any black men. So I find it hard to believe that some black man is sitting on the train worried about my well-being. But it might just be me.
Cool blog!
Nihonafriq
Posted by: Nihonafriq | August 06, 2008 at 04:13 PM
Can you PlEASE tell me the names of some reputable companies to work for or schools to teach at?? I'm graduating from college this May and would like to experience a culture other than the west. Thank you in advance.
Posted by: Tessatoon | February 18, 2009 at 12:10 PM