When it's Time to Change the SkyLine...

My first two years of college were spent in Birmingham, Alabama at the University of Alabama at Birmingham (UAB).  Though my dream back then was to attend Emory University in Atlanta, I settled on UAB after completing my military training (Army National Guard vet).

 

The two years spent at UAB were two of the most enlightening and life-changing times for me, for it was there that I began to shift from an attitude focused on pleasing my parents to one focused on personal happiness as an adult.  It was also there, [I'm about to be a little dramatic] I began to feel as if I were drowning in everything and nothing... at the same time.  (I can still remember the feeling...  it was icky-- in a 'make you squirm and uncomfortable' kind of way.)

At that time, my life consisted of a full course-load of classes in which I wasn't inspired one bit, a full-time job (great co-workers though) in which i worked the overnight shift, unnecessary financial responsibility of paying rent for an apartment I didn't need, and an active and stressful campus student group (Black Student Union) in which I was the leader.  I came to the realization that I was miserable and if I didn't do something to change my misery, I was going to end up a like a bitter and disgruntled financial-aid lady taking out her personal life frustrations on innocent and broke college students.  (You know the financial aid workers I speak of-- the ones with the bad attitudes.  ON A SIDE NOTE-  Little did I know, UAB financial-aid ladies had NOTHING on Howard University's Office-of-STANK- ATTITUDE-PEOPLE- who work in the Financial Aid Office but don't 'Aid' anyone- & refuse-to-return-e-mail and voice messages....(sigh) that felt good.)

Anyway, at the conclusion of my Sophomore year, I was miserable.  I felt both overwhelmed and bored to death with my life there.  I literally felt as each day that passed was dooming my future to financial aid lady land. (FYI-- I have nothing against nice financial aid workers.  But you nasty ones....) 

I used to work in downtown Birmingham and I often worked an overnight shift answering phones and recording the deaths of those who'd just passed away. (I was like a death operator-- Hospitals throughout Alabama called me when one of their patients died and I recorded the information.-- In retrospect, I realize that it is quite possible that my morbid job may have affected my outlook on life, hilariously true!.)  So, I worked in this office building that had a pretty nice view of the B-ham skyline and I remember looking out at it late one night thinking to myself, "I've gotta change my skyline..." I began to realize that I needed something different.  I needed a different environment, different company, different challenges, and most importantly a different outlook for my future and a different plan for getting me there. 

So I created a plan, applied to school in DC and was accepted, and worked extra-hard to save money for the big move to D.C.  My parents were dead set against it.  I was prepared to go without their help.  Two weeks before I was scheduled to go (they realized that I wasn't playing around) they came around and even helped me relocate to my new city.  It was such a great moment...

I was reminded of 'change the skyline' decision today while looking out of my office window.  Granted, everyday since then hasn't always been the best.  But, today I had a 'Tokyo Moment' and I reflected on my journey from being miserable woman in Birmingham headed to bitter financial aid lady-land, to being a Sista in Tokyo-- and I smiled.  I am blessed.

Though I average 12 hours a day at work-- and sometimes more, I am happy.  And the most important thing is-- this is only the beginning!  I have plans for the future, which include more skyline ambitions, among many other things to come. 

Anyway-- not to get all mushy and stuff (but I am a really kind of mushy), but I understand that I have a few readers who are the exact age I was when I made that decision-- or maybe even younger.  I simply wanted to post a special message to help inspire you.  If you want to change your skyline-- you can there's no one stopping you.

God is good!

 

Comments

[Romulus Burnett]

You know you wrote this blog entry for me, Swoopey Swoops. Thank you gurl! Anyways, seriously, though, you just don't know how much I feel you about living in Birmingham. I moved back to my hometown after living in Miami for a few years. Actually, I left Birmingham at 18, went to Auburn University, transferred to University of Alabama (Tuscaloosa) where I graduated, then I moved back to Birmingham. It was cool for a while, then it got boring so I went off to grad school at Alabama A&M - even MORE boring.

I moved to Miami and lived there a few years, came back to A&M to finish my masters degree and moved back home to Birmingham. The city had changed ALOT since I had originally left. Nevertheless, I'm feeling the same way right now as you felt when you was a sophmore at UAB. I'm heading back to Florida. Don't get me wrong - Birmingham is a great city and there's a lot more attractions and places to go now. But it's the social atmosphere that's incredibly stagnent.

On top of people being cliquish and clanish there's an enormous void in the dating arena here. If you don't get married by the time you're 21 around here you will miss the boat - everyone here is under the impression that you have to get married as soon as the milk dries from the cracks of your mouth. The next sector of single people doesn't happen until the late 30's to early 50's category where most people realized they were stupid for marrying at 21 years old.

[ghoul]

I can dig I ya'll. I was born and raised in a small city near big ones. 30 minute drive to Philly and my hometown people are as stagnant as a dead apple to me. So I headed to Atlanta, then north Jersey and NYC and then to Tokyo. I have checked out Miami, L.A., Bangkok,Hanoi, Ho Chi Minh, and Mexico City just to name a few, and all it doers is make me yearn for more. Follow your heart. better yet follow your spirit. It will never steer you wrong. Your head and brain will. For now its Tokyo but the world is so small to me now and I want more of it.

[Lauren]

Thank you! I'm a new reader here and this story is really inspiring. I'm 23 and I'll be going to Temple University Japan (TUJ) in August. It's cool because the day my plan will touch ground is my birthday (Aug 20th). I'm not sure what I really wanna do in life but I CAN'T just....stay here and work. I'm so miserable at my job (I work in retail which I hate. Not because of my particular job, it's just that retail is NOT in my future career plans). When I discovered TUJ back in December/January, I worked hard at getting every single document as soon as humanly possible to make a smooth transisiton and I'm still running into road blocks but all this is paying off. Soon, I'll be in Tokyo. I've never lived by myself, and never been out of the country. I'm going alone and I'm scared but completely excited! Just....little stories like this give me much positive energy. Thanks.

[Birdee]

Thank you for this! I've been wanting to leave Baltimore for so long. There is just nothing here for me. For years now I've been hearing this voice in my head saying Japan (no I'm not crazy)and I finally decided to listen to it. Congrats Lauren for being accepted in to TUJ! I'm appling this fall and hope to be there fall of 2008. I hope to see you there.

[zen]

Well said, It is better to go for it, than to look back and regret!

[Nini]

I'll agree with them, this is really inspiring. I'm at a time now, where I'm sick of the view and afraid that nothing will change. I just need to stop being lazy and do something about it. I think my calling is somewhere in Europe, more like England. Blame it on "football" I guess ^-^

[Raye]

Okay, I know I'm year late but this article was really inspiring. I'm working 8 hours a day, going to college, and in the long run missing out so much. I feel trapped and the only enjoyment I get from life in Birmingham is the food.

Simply put, I need to change my skyline. But a part of me is very scared to do so, especially since I'm trapped by motherhood. My daughter is so young, only two, and I don't know if I can handle a move far away from my family. But, I guess it wouldn't hurt to try.

[Coy]

Wow. This is so interesting that I ran across your site...as I literally am sitting here looking out at the Birmingham skyline, thinking I need to make a change(love the view, but know it's time to go). I want to do an RTW but don't have deep enough pockets just yet...I would need to work. I am considering teaching in Japan. Perhaps this is a sign...

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