Last week I had an interesting conversation over a cup of coffee with one my Japanese friends. We were discussing various differences between Japanese and American culture and making a few cultural observations about Japan and the United States. You know-- the regular conversation.
We rambled on about various things for a moment and the conversation began to shift towards African-Americans in Japan. He explained that he has often felt as if African-Americans in Japan, myself included, do things because they felt like they had to 'represent' and create a good impression for the rest of world. I was surprised...
"Really?" I replied. I thought to myself for a moment and my mind traveled back to the Black Tokyo discussion board where there was a very heated and controversial discussion about the very topic. Black people living in Japan feeling as if they have to 'impress' others and disprove stereotypes.
I replied, "You know, that's actually something that I have thought about a few times since being here." It's true. Occasionally I will go back and forth on the issue, however the longer I am here, the less I feel the need to 'represent'/'impress' others.
I remember my first time going to a hip-hop club in Japan during the fall of 2003. What an interesting experience. Interesting because it really encouraged me to critically examine myself outside of an American context. I went with one of the other sistas in Tokyo at the time and we went to some place in Shibuya. The experience itself wasn't all that much different. Take away black faces and replace them with Japanese and there you have it, hip-hop club in Japan. But I did notice something different about me. I was extremely conscious of what I did. In my mind, I kept thinking, "Don't promote any more stereotypes." (Stereotype-- All Black People can dance and Black women love to gyrate their hips.) So for an hour or so I just chilled. I danced a little but not too much, and not as I would have back in DC--hehehe! Later on though, the music became better and I began to have fun. I thought, "Forget about the stereotype crap. I can't possibly represent all black women in this world, even if I tried." And I had a blast!
Later the next morning on the train to return home, I asked my friend how she felt about the situation. She explained that at first she felt the same as I did-- don't promote bad stereotypes of black people, so she too was conscious of her actions. But she later realized that she couldn't possibly represent everybody.
It's like a sea saw-- one day I say, "I can just be me... Can't be anybody else and I definitely can't represent anyone else. Yet another part of me says, "It doesn't matter. To some people you are representing Black women. You are representing Black America. You are probably the only Black woman that they will ever see or interact with."
Why do I feel like this? Where does this urge to 'represent' come from? I think W.E.B Dubois best articulated the root of the problem in his book The Souls of Black Folk. Dubois writes of the African-American:
"..Born with a veil, and gifted with second-sight in this American world, - a world which yields him no true self-consciousness, but only lets him see himself though the revelation of the other world. It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness,this sense of always looking at ones self through the eyes of others, of measuring one's soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity."
Dubois speaks this only of African-Americans. Is he attempting to say that it is the psyche of American that creates such mental flip-flopping among African-Americans. The need by many to prove themselves. To be seen as an equal among co-workers, other students, our colleagues? This encourages me to remember all of my interactions with Black people in Japan who are not African-American. How do they feel about representing? It's interesting in that with most of the African men and women that I come across in Japan, I don't see that representing urge. Maybe Dubois was on to something.
My Japanese friend said of the Japanese, "I don't think Japanese feel like that. I don't think when Japanese go to other countries they feel they have represent their Japanese-ness." It's interesting. And the most interesting thing that I am discovering is that, the longer that I am in Japan the more my urge to represent decreases. Indeed, I feel that I CAN only be me. When I write my thoughts, I am not writing the thoughts of every African-American woman living in Japan, I am writing my thoughts only.
Before actually living in Japan I had so many thoughts about how Japanese people viewed black people that I wanted to go and erase all of those thoughts and replace them with all happy images of intelligent black people doing beautiful things in the world. How idealistic was that!
In conclusion, I feel that I can only be myself. Just being myself I am representing a lot. However, it is not my life mission in Japan to 'prove' anything to anyone. I see myself standing on the shoulders of my ancestors, generation after generation that have come before me. Indeed, I DO represent them. I DO represent myself. But do I represent to prove others wrong and to impress others? Not anymore.
You are invited to share your thoughts with me!
--Takara
What a good post! May I say (haha think I am) that you are not alone. Like you, I don't know if it is an African American thing or what but I feel the need to 'represent' all the time, everywhere. I live in the US and even here I feel the need to represent to show a positive side of AAs that unfortunately never seems to get as much media airplay as the negative. On the flip side though I feel the need to represent any time I am a minority, whether that is as a female in a male dominated field, an American, or even from a much smaller demographic such as very light-skinned AA (that drama is for another post :) ). Maybe it is just being too self-aware/conscious or just a need we feel to try and show another side, a better side perhaps people may not have seen. If you were to reverse things and say that AAs had a very positive perception worldwide as all of us being affluent, brilliant, friendly, etc etc would you/we still feel the need to represent? Would we feel freer to just be ourselves instead of spokespeople for our race?
Posted by: jbabe | April 08, 2006 at 08:46 AM
Hey, I am loving what you are doing with this site. Have you heard of this other site called, Blacks in Asia. Take a look: www.blacksinasia.org. Try contacting the person who runs to see if you can add an essay of yours to the archives..k
Best
BJJ
Posted by: BJJ | April 15, 2006 at 10:25 AM
Hello, my name is Christina and I am a black female. I was debating about this issue and I think that when I go to Japan for study abroad my junior year in college, I have to become the ambassador for Black America. We as black people get such a bad rep around the world and I think I have to prove them wrong.
Posted by: Christina Brown | April 23, 2006 at 12:34 PM
I think I have to become Black America's ambassador when I go to Japan my junior year at school. Black people get a bad rep in many countries around the world that I have prove them wrong.
Posted by: Remi_Love | April 23, 2006 at 12:38 PM
@ Christina and Remi-- I understand how you feel. Good-luck!
--Takara
Posted by: SistainTokyo | April 24, 2006 at 12:24 PM
I wish your blog had been up and running when I lived in Japan. Would've been nice to connect with someone who shared the same experiences of being Black there. Sounds like you're going thru the exact same issues I did. Eventually most of that worrying fades away and Japan becomes "yours."
P.S. Love the new look of the blog!
Posted by: 3D | April 28, 2006 at 08:27 PM
Wow. This is such an interesting read. I know where this comes from and I understand it but I have never felt like this. While I was in China I danced and I danced well. We can't allow ourselves to shame ourselves from any part of anything that feels right for us.
p.s. I love this blog. I am trying to decide if I should move to Japan. Thanks!
Posted by: Geneka Holyfield | October 19, 2006 at 05:47 AM
I love it!! I'm Haitian?Cuban w/a six year old who's half P.R. We plan on visiting Japan this fall or next summer. The world is a playground shared by all of us. There's nothing to represent!!!! :)
Posted by: Monique | April 03, 2007 at 11:03 AM
Hi, my name Tya and I am a young black girl. You are like my idol.I want to live in japan when I become of age.I love the culture and lifestyle -but mainly the fashion because I love fashion and want to be a fashion designer when I become of age.I have so many questions to ask you.
Posted by: Tya | March 17, 2008 at 03:46 AM
I agree, I am black too and as much as I love japan we will prove them wrong!
Posted by: luna | November 18, 2008 at 11:15 PM
16, black male in japan. Where i live here, in a city with NO black teenagers, things get realll boring. Got me feeling homesick all the time. used to feel like I was being watched in the beginning but then i thought "who cares" and just did it how i do.Really does suck here though
Posted by: TW | February 11, 2009 at 09:54 PM
wonderful post...It kinda threw me off because I would think that if your living in another country you could free your mind (lol)..Well I will visit Japan in April and I'm going to dance my ass off.. lololo
People have made us feel that our culture and traditions are wrong...than they use it to make money..keep your head up...feel good that you can move to the beat lololo!
stereotypes are something thats not true...however grating our hips to the beat is true and beautiful!
j.
Posted by: j | March 10, 2009 at 03:03 AM
I love your post. I'm thinking about becoming an electronics engineer and I was going to go to Japan or China for my year at work. I'm currently residing in Britain but my nationality is African. I am worried because already i'm being put of my carrer choice because i'm a woman but I was worried about being black in asia.i think the need to represent comes from originating from a country that has stereotypes, bad ones. I'm nigerian and everyone thinks that nigerians are theives and no good so naturally when i go out I try to represent the good part of my country, the educated ones. but as i'm getting older i'm getting tired of constantly having to justify myself i am only 1 person and not a nation and as long as i remember that I think I can take on anything. :)
Posted by: butterfly | December 13, 2009 at 05:52 AM
Nice lovely post!
I adored it.. really. I'm really interested in going to japan and this really opened my eyes a bit. I love what "butterfly" said above me too. As too, am born in Britain, I am of the African origin. And to be more specific, yes I'm nigerian too.
I'm sure, most nigerians wouldn't understand why I'd be so interested in another country when I hardly even know my own sadly.. however, it isn't about them. It's about me and what i am interested in and want to do. Thanks for your inspiration - even though this is 4 years old :O lol :)
Posted by: Inspired | April 21, 2010 at 09:14 AM
Nice post! My step sisters are half indian and half japanese butt the always get called black. the only thing that people judge them by is thier hair, the only way thier hair got the way it did is because of a fire incident when they visited america. so to shut everybody up, the show thier burn marks. But the youngest one (shio) loves all the attention she gets and she is the one you won't think the is ghetto, and the older one (aiyakia) really doesn't talk because she doesn't know how to act like she looks. ^^ it's fun to watch them get along with everyone here in Okinawa.
Posted by: Iyakia Hentaru | August 15, 2010 at 02:02 PM