(No, I'm not expecting) My how the time is zooming by so fast! It's as if I just arrived to Japan and was trying to decide which law schools I'd apply to. Boy, did God have a different plan for me! (though I was hoping there was a different LSAT score in that plan, but whatever.)
Call it baby fever or whatever the catchphrase is these days... but ummmmm, G and I have been making plans for a little one. Oh Sheesh! [Squeals of delight!!]
Anyway, I am surrounded by pregnant mothers with humps for bellies and new mothers smitten with love for their cute bundles of squeals, screams, and baby laughs and I just can't help thinking about our little one. So, I'm going to go ahead and just let it be known....
I'm so excited to have a little baby! I want to be a mother!
Just writing that feels a bit awkward though, like I'm selling out or something. Like I'm not supposed to admit that I want this. Like I'm weak. Strange. Aren't I supposed to want the greater career, the MBA, the law degree, etc?
That's what I used to want. But something happened during my 2nd year working in Japan. Yes, a part of that 'something' was my handsome and sweet G, but the other part of that something was acceptance of my being a woman and saying it's okay to want these things. I have been a wife for one year now (remember we eloped) and I enjoy my new role of being a wife. It's quite challenging but it's something I work hard on, just like my work at the office. This morning, G hugged me while I was getting ready for work and said, "You are such an oasis for me." I replied, "An oasis of what?" He said, "An oasis of love. It's like on the outside there is this tough and cruel world and then I come home to you and I am reminded of how much God loves me, through you." That made my heart melt.
He's my oasis too. [heheheh, i'm so in love.]
So back to what I was saying. Some may disagree, but the overwhelming female culture back home in the US really promotes an ultra-feminist (all the while denying it's feminism) male and family resenting culture among a lot of women. Until recently I think I might have viewed marriage and having a family as a slow-down to what "I" wanted. Bottom line for me is this, God has a purpose and a plan for me and it is always better than what I could plan for myself. All I can do is try to be the best I can in whatever role I am in. Right now my roles are listed on my blog masthead... But those can change real quick and when I am blessed with a new role m-o-m-m-y will be displayed proudly up there!
(That picture displayed are of twins from a black and white couple. Read Here)