The entire program is going to Nagano for a week (5 days). It's supposed to be a nice relaxing adventure :) Of course I will be sure to take many pictures and I will have a couple of stories to tell you... I already do, because initially, I wasn't going. But, it became such a huge production that I didn't want to go and be with the IES group that I am now going. (sigh of frustration) Boy I tell you, this whole group mentality thing is really beginning to get on my nerves.
The Japanese I'm around, (host family and IES staff) automatically think there is something wrong with you if you aren't doing what the others are doing. In my case, I told my host family I wasn't going to Nagano because I needed to spend time studying and working on my two research papers. In addition, I just wanted to spend time alone exploring Tokyo, instead of being with a huge group of noisy Americans for 5 days. Upon telling my host family they were like, "okay" they didn't seem to really care. But the next day my host mother calls the program (IES) and tells them she is worried that I am not going to Nagano because I will be working. The IES center, in return calls me and asks at least 20 times why I am not going to Nagano. In addition, they make a huge deal about my having a job. After explaining everything and making it clear why I was not going to Nagano everything was fine. I mean, the IES program was upset, but, if I don't want to go, then I'm not going, it's not a big deal... really it's not.
Well, to let my host mother tell it, it is. Because she calls IES again, the following day and says that she thinks I am mad at her because she called the first time. I mean, can you talk to me before you go calling the IES people every 5 minutes? Can we solve these communication issues between the two of us before you get IES to bomrush a sista time whe walks in the IES center? Sometimes, I don't feel like talking to you everyday when I come home from school. Sometimes I just want to go upstairs and listen to my music and pretend I am lying on my bed back in DC (hehehe). It's almost as if I am expected to continuously smile and be happy all of the time.... and if I am not then 'Oh no, something is wrong with her... Let me call IES and tell them instead of asking her myself.' And for those of who responding, 'Takara you need to be more understanding, it's not Japanese culture to be confrontational.' I say to you, "Yeah, I know that, but that doesn't mean I can't write and be upset about it now does it?
Man this is actually kind of ironic. Ma, I love you. Because when I was in high school I absolutely detested your direct approach to everything... I mean everything. But now, thank you for being direct... I may not have like what you said, but I knew where I stood and you knew where I stood. Here.... Boy, you just don't know where anything stands here. One day you feel as if everything is fine and then you walk in the IES office and all hell has broken lose over my being quiet at the dinner table. (sigh of frustration)... So now, I decided to go to Nagano because both IES and my host mother are just going to continue to get on the remaining sane nerves I have left. All I wanted to do was simply stay home, get ahead in my studies, go to the school festival and Tokyo Motor Show, and chill for 5 days without having class... I mean, can a sista do something by herself for once? Can a sista get a little room to breath and feel like an adult?
Yeah, I am really trippin' today... I am stressed about my assignments and ready to come home.
:) Thanks for the $20... you know who you are.
To ALL of my Family in Alabama, Florida, Kentucky, Maryland, Georgia, Tennessee, Oklahoma, and Louisianna thanks for the support :), it's nice to know you are reading my page daily. I can't wait to see you all for Christmas!!!!!
To All of my Friends E-mail your addresses to me so that I can send postcards!!! I have some really cute ones. (kj)-need the mailing address- feelin' the site.
I Love TFA CORPS MEMBERS!
Hey Rangel Scholars!!!
Send me love, I need it!